Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Riley's Birthday and some Rambling

It was 64° out today. So different from what we've had over the last 5 months. I got Lola and Harper into clothes that weren't too warm or too cold and went and picked Casey up from school today a bit early. He had an appointment. Afterwards, we went and got food to take to the park for lunch.

Lola hates swings but today for some reason, she was ok in the weirdly shaped, hard rubber baby swing. I started her out slow, sitting myself down on the wood chips in front of her and sang to her as I slowly increased the speed of her sway. Eventually she was staring off into her own little tiny girl land, singing songs from Yo Gabba Gabba to herself. You know, the one about Babies. (click!)

It got me thinking. My life seems so complicated sometimes and really, all the stress and distraction of the legal stuff going on keeps me from being a mommy, a lot more often than I should probably admit. My littles get planted in front of the toy box while I make phone call after phone call to lawyers and friends who are helping in this.  I don't even know how to open the door to neighbors when I'm on the phone because I can't miss a single word. This is legal stuff!  It takes priority!!!! Right?

Today while Lola was swinging in front of me, her little cold toes brushing against my face as I leaned under her while she was on the forward part of her swing and she'd giggle. The best sound ever. Harper was laughing as Casey pushed him "under dog" and he even learned how to count to 3 and then JUMP! off the swing. I worried he'd break his ankles but then that thought came again. We all did that!  We all learned how to jump off the swing at some point. The euphoria of floating through the air in what seemed like the highest arc and then landing, your ankles stinging a bit when you hit the playground floor.  That's kid stuff, but it teaches you to leap with faith that you'll land and be ok.

Faith that we'll be ok when we leap.

Faith that what's going on in other parts of the world has a purpose. Painful as it seems, it's so true. Everything has a purpose. Faith that it will all come together is what I'm learning today.

Either way, we're going to wake up tomorrow, or we're not!  What we can do is our very best every single day.

Today's my nephew's birthday. Riley C. turned 13. That kid is so awesome. He's a year younger than my Jonah and they've been buddies for their whole lives. I had Jonah, a year later Riley came along, then my Casey a year after that then Riley's brother Jackson a year later. Every year for 4 years a boy cousin was born. To see these boys together is to make you almost cry. I remember when they were like Lola on the swing. Literally. We were at a blessing picnic here in Utah and cute Jonah was on the baby swing, and he'd hold his breath too as I pushed, but slowly he grew to know it would be ok.

I'm lucky to have my fam!  What an amazing group I get to be part of.

Riley, you're a fantastic example of how to be obedient. You're always gentle and you play with ALL of my boys and even little Lola thinks you're funny...when you're not being "scary" like your dad. ;)  Juuuuuuust kidding.

So all this rambling does have a purpose. I wanted to capture and remember the feeling I had today. I'm not sure we're going to get through a few really crazy things that are happening in our lives unscathed, but I'm sure we'll get through somehow. Right now we're just looking to our friends and family and jumping off at the forward arc of our swing.  Just how we'll land, I don't know yet. We'll see.

If you can make sense of any of this, congratulations. That means you're awesome.




Meri Dawn Thompson said...

That's life for sure. It's hard to enjoy the journey when it's so bumpy, but if you do what you did today, you'll make it!

Carla said...

First of all, ALL of the kids in your family are just too stinkin' cute. What a handsome kid!

Sounds like a day in Heaven at the park. I loved your analogy of faith. Isn't it so amazing how when we slow down and do the simple things in life, clarity comes. I can't tell you how many times I have been inspired or given peace when I was enjoying time with the family, doing the simple things like coloring, hiking at Red Rock, roller blading at the park. There is something to be said for the simple life.

Know that you and your family are in my prayers. I love ya!

(Oh, did you see my comment? I didn't get your email reply. :( Cox is famous for not sending everything through.)

Mandy said...

i guess im pretty awesome since i understood all of it! oh, and once again another post of some of the same things i have been thinking about this week. i have finally jumped off my swing this week and although we still arent sure how some things are going to work out, i know in my heart they will. just like they always do. we will land fine. i just wish i knew how long we will be in the air... ;)

Leslie said...

I love the way you express yourself. You make so much sense.

"The Aimonites" said...

Jump!..It only stings for a little while but next time you can swing higher and jump further. :)

Kris said...

Seriously, you're blog is amazing! You have supreme mad writing skills and I really love reading about your life. Sucky for the things you've had to deal with, but I guess we have to face these trials to make us stronger and learn. I love your idea about using your blog as a journal. I love to read blogs, yet I find it so time consuming to upload pictures, then edit, then comment about them and then post. So thanks for the tip...maybe no more pics for me. Glad we can be long lost friends. LOVE your mother!!!