Friday, March 11, 2011

Come What May And Love It

You know, the roller-coaster of emotions that a woman (and her husband and children and friends and family and neighbors who lie downwind) goes through while she's pregnant is enormous. It probably shouldn't be ridden by anyone with back problems or heart problems or by young children...I said probably. It's scary. Even when we're not pregnant, we're so up and down it makes my sweet husband sometimes stop me at night and just rub my back saying "it's hard to be a girl, huh". Yes babe, it is. Sometimes it is.

But the blessings of it are also great. We are able to love our littles when they're hurt, or listen to our teenagers with different ears than dad might. When the boy breaks her heart, or the kids are mean on the playground we mothers can do things that dad can't sometimes.

Dad has his own job, his own purpose, and I don't envy it one bit. Being a dad to these kids is hard. When those teenage hormones and feminine spurts of monthly psychosis kick in it's only the dad who can ignore the "I HATE YOU!" and "LEAVE ME ALONE!" comments.  He can go quietly to his room and pray for those kids to soften, or come into the bedroom where mom is frequently pulling her hair out with frustration and laugh and say "Give him/her 20 minutes" and he's right. Every time. Instead of fighting, or screaming mean or spiteful and hurtful words at the kids, or without retreating and saying "well I tried!" after only yelling back at and participating in the "teenage angst", he can step aside and wait, knowing it will all be ok if he just loves with authority and gentle words. Not all men can and will do this, but mine sure does. He's one of the best men I know.

One of the things that has been hard for me this week has been my ability to think outside of the immediate.  When we've done things for our kids for years, and I do mean years, and then all of the work we've done, time spent, money applied to keeping these kids happy and our family peaceful is called into question, and all the other side who extends near to zero help can do is ask for moremoremore...well, it struck me as so appalling and ungrateful, I really couldn't take another thing. I shut down. The "fear" they were trying to instill in us didn't even cause us one bit of it, but moreso it caused me to feel so bad for my kids. Instead of actually DOING what they're supposed to do, they want to force the kids into what they want from them.  We all know who's "plan" that sounds like, now don't we? *insert biggest wink and eye roll you can muster about now*

What with my hormones as they are, I almost stopped functioning. I could have laid in my bed crying and being frustrated at the gall of the other party but every time I stopped and let my mind get to a point where I could fall weak, I would remember one of my most favorite talks by sweet Elder Wirthlin called Come What May and Love It. (click!)  Now, whether or not you're a Mormon, or even a Christian this talk can help you. It's an inspired moment in time where simple words and simple jokes can lighten a heart, mood and load. It minimizes the pain I sometimes feel with just a few simple paragraphs.

It's funny that this week seemed to be focused around so many terrible things while at the same time leaning toward the blessings I have in my life.  Last week I started doing one daily thing extra for one of my kids, or a friend and the first few days I had to really think hard about what to do. I realized on about day 3 that if I just got to work around my house, the person who would need my help would just slip into my mind and I knew that I had to act on it.

I wanted it to be some grand idea, some person I hadn't thought of in a long time, but often, it would be one of my own kids who I didn't know was suffering, or something simple like making a phone call to someone I'd just talked to a day or two before on the phone.

Then I saw my sister on Facebook saying things like "Day 2 of losing myself (in service)" and then this morning, my friend Crystal posted this on Facebook:

Yep. It's a shortened version of some of the more important parts of the same talk I mentioned above. Love it!

Now, I know you don't come here for preaching, or to hear me talk about my troubles, but often that's what I write about. I write because it's therapeutic. I could just post fluff and pictures of my lawn starting to get green again, but that's not who I am. I could post youtube videos of me tap dancing and singing Britney Spears "Toxic" complete with auto-tune but we all know I don't want to scare you away, am I right? Anyway, I do this because it's my way to clear my mind out, to talk to friends and to get your perspectives on things. You guys are one of the main reasons I do this.  You reading along with me makes me feel less alone, and every little comment is a bit of service you provide for me. I mean that with all of my heart. It's true!

So today, when I get to fold acres of laundry and lift 25 lb. Lola up and down the stairs a hundred times and cheer for Harper as he defeats Dr. Eggman for the 435,215th time, I can smile a little bit knowing that when I come on here and see your comments, there are other people out there...whether you're a mom or a dad or none of the above, and you still read what I say and give a hoot enough to come back and see what I've got to  expose share about myself and my poor family today even though I like to abuse The Comma. Just so you know, this helps and it lightens my load!

Oh and one more thing:

IT'S FRIDAY and it's my sister-in-law's birthday!!! 


Mandy is the most patient mom, best sister, most amazing wife and her laugh makes me laugh!  We also had their Dylan and my Harper  4 days apart and they're due with their next baby Lucas 4 days before we're due with baby Osc/kar!!!

Her blog is here  read it but I warned you, she may or may not make you feel bad about yourself, she's ridiculously efficient. Trés sigh...



Chris and Kim said...

I love that talk, and it is what I needed to hear today. Thank you for sharing it has truely inspired me today.

Good luck with all those pregnancy hormones.Love ya

Alli Easley said...

Aw thank you for saying that Kim! I'll need the luck with the hormones, but not for much longer. Thank goodness.

And thanks for always commenting!

Mandy said...

thanks for the sweet birthday wishes! :)
im so glad you posted this message today about come what may and love it. when i have a moment to myself today i am going to reread throught the whole talk again (already cried through the short mormon mssage) i needed to hear those words and learn to have COMPLETE faith and trust in the Lord. why is it so hard to remember to do those simple things when you are in the thick of hard times?

"The Aimonites" said...

I could here you take a deep breath and exhale after you got that off your chest. Therapeutic is right.. I start to worry myself if I have nothing to blog..hence the reason for my recent adventures :)...Green grass..hell! I don't even have grass to take a picture of but I have a cul-de-sac to play in now and maybe even kiss boys in a wagon..Don't worry! I will take pic's if that happens

McLeod Clan said...

Thank you mrs alli. I have struggled so much with everything this pregnancy and my hormones are out of control!! I find that sometimes it is all to overwhelming. I need to just remember, Come What May and Love it! What a great message and how easy it is to forget what is important. Ps. Mandy is amazing and she does make you feel like you need to pick it up a bit. Dang that efficient girl!:)

Leslie said...

Wow! That was awesome! I watched the video twice and then read through the message. I think I will print it out and keep it. It was very much what I needed to hear right now!
Love you!

Carla said...

This week has been a tough one for me. I spent Monday and Tuesday in bed. Seriously. Wednesday and yesterday I searched the scriptures for comfort. I found some, but nothing hit the mark. I searched talks and got some answers. As I sat here tonight reading about Japan, the thought came to me to check you blog. I found what I needed here. I should have known to look here first. Your posts are always so inspiring and enlightening. I needed to hear Elder Wirthlin's words. They are what I have needed all week long. Your sweet hubby sure knows, it is hard to be a girl. In this day and age it's hard to be human. It seems this refiner's fire has been burning for so long. I guess if we can make it through, we are going to be darn near perfectly gorgeous! Thanks, Alli. This post was for me. Love ya♥

Tara said...

Absolutely LOVE this talk. And this post was so perfect. Thank you so much for sharing it. I didn't read it the other day, and I think it's because I SO needed to read it today. Thank you.