Thursday, December 20, 2007

Christmas Is Coming...The Goose Is Getting Fat!

Things to do before the end of today:

  • finish teacher gifts
  • finish editing the Tobar's shoot
  • clean bathroom downstairs
  • vacuum stairs
  • drink a 5th of whiskey
  • wash towels and sheets
  • make sugar cookies that were supposed to be made yesterday but our freakin oven pilot ignition quit working
  • send gifts to Joe & Heidi, Paul & Sharla joe josephson dead beat dad
  • finish helping "Santa" with stocking stuffers
  • thaw turkey
  • buy more Crisco for pie crusts for quiche
  • finish tying quilts for Mike and all the kids
  • eat 10 lbs of caramels
  • drink a 12 pack of diet Coke with another 5th of whiskey
  • repent
not too shabby right?

18 comments:

Tiffany said...

O' my freakin hell! I about peed my pants at the shot of whiskey! HAAAAA! Man I got tired just reading that post!Not to mention EDITING! Thaw a turkey and tie quilts.....what! Girl you are amazing! What are your x-mas plans this year? Who's coming and who's going?

Mandy said...

wow...you sound like me except im not so busy!

Alli Easley said...

I'm a procrastinator Tiff, it's my own fault! Um, we're all staying, we like being home all together. Mom and dad and Ashley are coming to visit tomorrow, then on Christmas day we'll do quiche here with the kids, then we're going to Mike's mom and dad's for the afternoon! Fun!

Alli Easley said...

wow jinx Mandy!

Carla said...

Girl, you really are "Alli Fantastico"! That shot of whiskey is sounding pretty good about now! I am going on 12 hours of sleep for the past 4 nights with no end in sight!

I see those shows where somehow there become more of you; (Multiplicity and some other one with Minnie Driver)if only!!! Good luck today!

Carla said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Carla said...

My Mom sent me this, reminds me of you!

If you, or someone you know has ever felt overwhelmed by all they feel they need to do, Vickie Gunther of Redlands , California , wrote a hilarious poem, Dr. Seuss style, about how much LDS women try to take on.

David B. Marsh used it at Women's Conference, and Vickie has given permission to share it.

The Girl in a Whirl by 'Dr. Sue' (a.k. a.. Vickie Gunther)

Look at me, look at me, look at me now!
You could do what I do if you only knew how.
I study the scriptures one hour each day;
I bake, I upholster, I scrub, and I pray.
I always keep all the commandments completely;
I speak to my little ones gently and sweetly.
I help in their classrooms! I sew all they wear!
I drive them to practice! I cut all their hair!
I memorize names of the General Authorities;
I focus on things to be done by priorities.
I play the piano! I bless with my talents!
My toilets all sparkle! My checkbooks all balance!
Each week every child gets a one-on-one date;
I attend all my meetings (on time! never late!)
I'm taking a class on the teachings of Paul,
But that is not all! Oh, no. That is not all,
I track my bad habits 'til each is abolished;
Our t-shirts are ironed! My toenails are polished!
Our family home evenings are always delightful;
The lessons I give are both fun and insightful.
I do genealogy faithfully, too.It's easy to do all the things that I do!
I rise each day early, refreshed and awake;
I know all the names of each youth in my stake!
I read to my children! I help all my neighbors!
I bless the community, too, with my labors.
I exercise and I cook menus gourmet;
My visiting teaching is done the first day!
(I also go do it for someone who missed hers.
It's the least I can do for my cherished ward sisters.)
I chart resolutions and check off each goal;
I seek each 'lost lamb' on my Primary roll.
I can home-grown produce each summer and fall.
But that is not all! Oh, no. That is not all,
I write in my journal! I sing in the choir!
Each day, I write 'thank you's' to those I admire.
My sons were all Eagles when they were fourteen!
My kids get straight A's! And their bedrooms are clean!
I have a home business to help make some money;
I always look beautifully groomed for my honey.
I go to the temple at least once a week;
I change the car's tires! I fix the sink's leak!
I grind my own wheat and I bake all our bread;
I have all our meals planned out six months ahead.
I make sure I rotate our two-years' supply;
My shopping for Christmas is done by July!
These things are not hard; 'tis good if you do them;
You can if you try! Just set goals and pursue them!
It's easy to do all the things that I do!
If you plan and work smart, you can do them all, too!
It's easy!' she said and then she dropped dead.

Ha ha ha...how true is this?! Ü

Alli Easley said...

DUUUUUUUUUUUDE... she is in our stake. Vickie Gunther, that is. I'm in the Redlands Stake...how weird is that?!? Oh and how true is that poem, am I right? Now, I'm off to drop dead.

Tiffany said...

Dang,that is nuts! I wish I was that perfect!

Tiffany said...

But then I would be dead...

Lyd said...

HOLF F! That's poopie. Good luck! :^)

K. H. said...

Ummm....Alli, when they say "be drunk on the spirit" they dont mean whiskey.

ba-dum ching.

Pepperidge Farm grew my christmas cookies this year. and of course Nonni™ Biscotti!!!!!

Carla said...

Alli? Are you alive? Ü That's too funny about Vickie being in your stake! Your cookies sound yummy! Do you ship?

Alli Easley said...

Yes, I'll ship them Carla, but they're so easy, just make them yerself!

Oh and Kristen, drunk on the spirit(s) can mean whatever I want! just kidding. Oh and about those cookies, I haven't tried those. Maybe I shouldn't.

-KJ said...

I think that lady was struck down dead because of her pride. Know what I'm sayin. Yeah, I wish I could be like that too. Oh well.
Now I get why you were washing your sheets...your parents were coming. Hahaha! Kidding. If I could afford you, I would hire you!

-KJ said...

But I guess you wouldn't get anything done 'cause I would want to talk, laugh, and eat all day with you around!

Alli Easley said...

THEY DROVE HOME!!! AFTER DINNER!!! I was washing sheets because Harper decided he liked drooling M&M's all over my white 800 count egyptian cotton heaven sheets.

Alli Easley said...

and yes, we'd eat and laugh and talk all day long, and yes, you can't afford me ;)