Monday, May 14, 2007

A Few Movie-a-Minutes for you

by me. I have seen a few movies lately, let me share them for you in abbreviated terms: (yes, one of them is rated R. I have a huge weakness for zombie movies, so I had to. HAD TO. Now I'll be curse-ed all of my days yada yada)

Blades Of Glory:

Will Farrell:

Oh look at me, I'm sexy and I skate around, oh and I hate Napoleon Dynamite

Napoloeon Dynamite:

Oooo, I have Farah Fawcett hair, I hate Will Farrell

(fighting ensues then the typical "if we get together we can win" scene)

Napoleon and Will:

We WIN YAY!

I give it a thumbs up on my right hand and a thumbs down on my left, just for flava.

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Jaws:

typical guy with glasses:

Dude there's a shark in the water killing people

Other typical guy:

O-m-g, close the beaches and lets kill the shark!

(people get eaten and crap)

They kill the big shark

THE END

I give it a B+

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28 Weeks Later:

Dad character:

Honey, I won't let you get eaten by the zombies I promise!

(He lets her get eaten because he's a dumba$$)

Military guy:

Welcome back to London, its been (you guessed it...) 28 weeks since the zombies died to death from starvation yay!

Kids:

Hey dad! Where's mom?

Dad:

Um, she died, I totally saw her die, I swear, I didn't leave her to die by zombies in the closet when I was running away I swear, I totally swear ask that guy, for serious!

Kids:

Ok!

Military guy:

Nobody should cross the river, there's zombie guts and crap over there that might contaminate everything.

(Kids immediately sneak across the river and find their mom who is half zombie half human for some reason, they bring her back or something like that)

Hot scientist lady:

Omg, she's the key to a cure! Look, her little boy has the same weird eyes, I bet he's immune too! Don't let anyone kiss her or take her blood or whatever.

(dad kisses mom, immediately turns into a zombie. Much killing ensues, virus spreads to like 356000 people in .35 seconds)

Kids:

OMG WTF?

(military blows up London with scud missles and crap which they should have done in every zombie movie ever made in my opinion)

Dad:

growl grrr gurgle *bite bite*

(dad finds kid, the sister kills dad after tons of scary zombie chases and stuff)

Kid:

omg i'm fine, get me out of here helicopter guy

(helicopter guy takes the kid to Paris, cut to black screen, open back up with zombies climbing the eiffel tower since the kid was a carrier and he somehow spreads the virus again in paris->earth...leaving room to speculate that there will be a 28 *insert time period* Later part 3, or whatever. I suggest "28 Weeks Later2: Electric Boogaloo" for a title.)


THE END
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Honestly, a good movie, if you like Zombie movies. Plus, the zombies in the 28 series always run super fast, plus they have british accents in the movie, which is a double plus for me. I think Zombies are hella scarier when they run fast, and in the "making of" they talk about how they hired sprinters to be the zombies to make sure they ran fast enough to blow your mind, which they did. Overall, I give it an A.

9 comments:

-KJ said...

You said hella.
Next, Kev will love the review. He wants to see it badly. He will go.
Jaws? OMG WTF
Then of all, what is up with my kid wanting to be a fart face? He is totally going to be the president of something.

Alli Fantastico said...

First of all, I started saying hella again for no apparent reason last week. That means I am old or have a brain tumor or something. Second of all, I wish I were there, I'd totally take Kev. I'll see it again. Scary movies are my "sky diving"...some people do crazier things, I'm sure of it. Jaws was on TBS or something, I made my boys watch it, then I took them to the beach the next day, they didn't even flinch. Kids these days!!!

Then of all, your kid is the most awesome of awesomer kids eveh! Seriously, we want him to come live with us. Find me/mike work up there and we'll move in 2 seconds. ok yay!

Eliza said...

so you've got some time on your hands still. What's up sistah! We need an update on the work stuff. IKEA up here is hiring?! You could start on the 23rd!!!!!!!! I am so excited can you tell? MY OWN IKEA!!!

EmDab said...

Is there a conversion system for thumbs-up-and-down and B+?

Eliza said...

what about stars....the conversion table is in the back of the notebook em!!

-KJ said...

What about WAMU here?

Alli Fantastico said...

I'm looking. We have a lease here, and I'm trying not to uproot the kids again. Bleh. BLEH FREAKIN BLEH!!!!!!!!!! Life man...life.

shark like a fox said...

um Jaws is my favorite movie ever.

jerky mcjerkerson.

EmDab said...

Thumbs up, Eliza.

(Also on the conversion table)