These letter things are so weird, but I'm making one anyway

H - happy all the time
A - always smiling
P - probably the best husband ever
P - peppy
Y - yellow, since he's 1/2 asian

A - another man couldn't ever take his place
N - nifty and
N - nice
I  -  intelligent
V - versed in all things philosophical
E - energetic when he wants to be
R - ridiculously handsome
S - smooches me all day long
A - a real winner
R - rock star
Y - you can't believe how lucky I am to have him


I love you, Mr. Easley.  Happy Anniversary...

I like listening to the Gorillaz new album while I work, FYI

I'm getting behind in work. It's not because I want to. It's because there's something WRONG with me. I'm sick, I'm tired, I'm emotional, and I blame the birth control pills.

Also, I blame the fact that it's my 5 year wedding anniversary in 2 days and there's no money for gifts. He's probably got some nifty clever card he made himself all ready in his secret place and when I see it, it will just scream "Mike made this and it's awesome!" and I will cry and sadly hand him the bag of  Jolly Ranchers I will probably get him.

I hate being poor, but I hate not having something to show Mike my appreciation even harder. I guess I could just scrub my bathroom for him. He'd feign happy and say "aw. Thanks honey. I love a clean toilet!" with real believability, but yeah. I'd rather take him to Morton's (click!) Do they even have Morton's in Utah?  I don't think so. Utah doesn't like to be that fancy.

Anyway...mais non, it's not for this year either. Every year I say "on our 5th anniversary, I'll do something really really nice for him"...but yeah. Here we go and no. Not this year either.

I'm thinking he probably won't want me to get him a bike but that's totally doable. There's a dude down the street who NEVER puts his bike away.  If Michael wants it, I'll totally steal it for him.

reasons schmeasons here come the seasons!

There's something that crosses my mind a lot. Do things just happen or do they happen for a reason?  I usually flip back and forth between these thoughts and wonder what is going on when good and bad things occur in my life.

Lately, I'm leaning toward "for a reason". 

My daughter Mackenzie is 16 on Tuesday. Tuesday is the anniversary of her birth. She was early, hair covering her sweet tiny head, and when she got here Tiffany finally had a sister. We were beyond excited and she was the easiest baby I've ever seen. She smiled early, walked early and couldn't wait to run. She talked on her first birthday video...a tiny little thing with a shoulder length bob...sitting on the front porch of our house. The video turns to her, binkie in her mouth, and her grandmother Sharla asked her "Hey Kenzie...what'cha doin?" and Miss Mackenzie pulled out her bink and perfectly said "Wanna ride a bike?"  Yes. On her very first birthday.   This week is sad for me because it's a bad year. Things are getting better with Mike starting his new job today but for the most part, there will be no presents for a month. She's sweet and won't complain, but I know it hurts her. We're trying, Mackenzie. Things are getting better.  You know we love you so so so much.  

These things happen for a reason. This year, maybe she'll remember that we can give her love instead of monetary things.  Hopefully, she'll remember it later and say "I learned something about love that day..."

Mike and I got to a point the other night where we realized that we needed to work on some things. No, things aren't bad, but there comes a time where you look at each other and say "whoa, we're totally on different roads!"  Thankfully, these roads weren't far from each other.  Just side-by-side sort of. Marriages shouldn't be two people living side by side. They should be two people walking together, holding hands, so that if something dangerous comes down the road, the other one can yank them out of the way of trouble. We were there on Saturday. I noticed that we were on two roads. I woke him up at 11:30 at night and said "lets go for a walk". It was warm at first but after 2 hours, it got cold. We were sitting at the park and the sprinklers came on, and still we stayed and talked. I talked mostly at first. I talked while we did an entire lap around our neighborhood. Then he talked. I interrupted saying that he'd misunderstood what I was saying before and he asked me to just listen. I listened. I'm so glad I did. We walked home at 3 am. I know I didn't sleep at first, and from how he was breathing, I know he didn't either. Lots of thinking, I assume, like me. 

This morning, we were brand new. What a terrific feeling. We don't argue, Michael and I. We never fight. It's weird and awesome. We just get busy and forget sometimes that we're madly in love with each other. 3 weeks ago we were at a concert just totally dancing to the music and as close as you can be, and then a few weeks later, we would take care of family things and work and then fall into bed asleep. We both decided that we need to spend every night with the tv off so we can talk about the day and I can giggle at his dry humor and he can laugh at my stupid jokes.  This is where we find each other. In humor, and in friendship. I love this man.

These things happen for a reason. This year, especially, has been difficult. We've had financial trouble, but things are really looking up. This new job of his is giving us lots of hope. I know this happened right now so we could be ready for the good things coming our way.

My kidneys are full of stones. I went to the doctor and they told me they'd pass. They scheduled me for a CAT scan, and on the day of the scan, I canceled. This was a month ago. Something told me not to get radiation. I really was sick about it. I stayed up all night, I got up in the morning to call the doctor to tell him I was worried, and he said "let's postpone it. We know they're there from ultrasounds, but we can just wait to do the scan for a while."  I worry a bit that this stupid feeling I'm having means something is really wrong, or that I shouldn't be radiated any more than I have been in the past. I've had so many CAT scans, what with gallbladder issues and stones in the past. Really, minor things. But radiation no less.  We'll see. I'll do it in a month. Maybe this feeling is because our insurance cancels this month. I have no insurance for 90 days.  We'll see.

These things happen for a reason. I'm unsure of what that reason is, but maybe I'll find out, maybe not. That's the way inspiration works.  

In other news, these birth control pills are making me sick. SICK!  Too much information?  Oh well. Deal with it. 

This too happens for a reason, but it's totally a hormonal, scientific reason, so I don't wonder too much about the reasoning here.  

Oh and I really love my family. Taylor and Mandy were here, they brought their boys!  We had a party at Eliza and Curtis' house tonight, Curtis ran the bbq (seriously, he's the best bbq'er I've honestly ever met. He nails the chicken EVERY TIME. It's always moist!  How does he do that??? Also, he knows how I like my steak...bloody and as rare as it gets but just barely brown on the edges. He nails that  every time, too. He deserves a trophy or something. I should look into getting him one) while the kids played. Harper got tired and so did his cousins and fights ensued but really funny ones where 6 year old Isaac said awesome stuff that I wrote down in my cell phone notes because seriously, that kid is awesome. Yes, they were sort of mean to Harper but I layed on the stairs with my face in the carpet just laughing at the comments even while Harper cried. Why?  Because honestly...Isaac is a comedic genius. I adore that kid.

I sure love Eliza. She's always willing to have parties at her house. Appropriately, her house is the biggest so it works that way, but she cleans up the mess that I know we leave, and she's generous and sweet and she's the best. And we're only 16 months apart in age. This makes her even more awesome. Every year when I turn the next age, I know she'll be right behind me, turning into the year I just left. She just turned an age last week. I won't say which, but it starts with a 2 and ends with a 9. Right Eliza?  

Now, to get my bedroom clean since I just unpacked today from my trip that I got home from on Tuesday. Lazy much?

Oh and fall is here. I like living where there are seasons. Mmhmm...

blogging is dumb but it really isn't, so I do it. It's also my 8th year anniversary of blogging. Weird.

Mackenzie got asked to Homecoming. Thing is, I'd feel really super old but she's a junior. And Tiffany is an adult. I have an adult child. I'm in my mid 30's. What the???  So wanna make it even more crazy?  Sure!  Why not?  I have an adult child, I have one in high school, I have one in middle school, I have one in elementary school, I have one in pre-school and an infant. I have one in every phase of young life. Isn't that bizarre?

I love it. I really really love it.

P.S. Tomorrow is Mike's last day at his job. He's been there over 2 years and has learned all he can from that place, and he's moving on to an Ad Agency. Something that is really super interesting to him. When Daddy's happy, Mommy's happy, and vice versa.

P.P.S It's our 5th wedding anniversary next week.

P.P.P.S. Have I mentioned that he's The One?  Ok good, cuz he is.

a whole lot of rambling, but mostly because I like to ramble

there's an unmistakable feeling in the air. It's the same feeling I get every year at this time. We sleep with our windows open and in the morning we're almost too chilly to only have our light summertime blanket over our bodies. Every morning I say to Mike "should we get the down comforter out?" and he always says "maybe". That means "you decide" because he's really sweet like that. He will make due with whatever I choose.

I drove home to Utah late last night from this last trip to Las Vegas and Southern California. The drive was long and Tiffany puked all over herself and all over the car, but for the most part, it was beautiful. Honestly, when you're coming from Vegas, almost anything is more nice to look at but the drive north home is stunning and it comes incrementally. First, The Gorge. Really?  It's just stunning. You see these cliffs that reach so high up you almost can't see the tops even when you crane your neck out the window. Then you automatically look down below the road and the valleys are red and sparse, but with a muddy river crawling across it. I could tell you a joke about that river but I won't. (yes I will. I once heard this from a Young Women's/church leader on the way back from Girls' Camp in Brian Head. question "why do they call it the Virgin River?" answer "because you never see the bottom of it!")

After The Gorge, you reach St. George. St. George...where do I start?  I spent a zillion summers there as a kid. We had a family condo on a golf course there. Every summer we'd go and mostly during the 4th of July. Tennis would be on tv and our parents would watch it while we'd go outside on the lower deck and eat a billion otter pops. Dads would go golfing at 6 am to beat the heat and they'd be back around noon to take the kids swimming. I loved it! I realize now they were trying to cool off since St. George frequently reaches over 100° during the days. Sometimes over 110°!  Heaven love them and their dedication to the sport!  Anyway, we'd play mermaid or superman and wonderwoman all while jumping in and out of that pool. I loved that pool.

Around noon we would head inside to have some kind of lunch, most often tuna fish sandwiches or pb&j, which was just fine to us because we also got to have as many fresh picked apricots as we could stand. Chips were abundant and so was kool-aid!  After that, the mom's would go golf. In the heat. Really?  Now that I'm an old lady, I wonder how they did that. Bless their hearts. While the moms were golfing, we'd all smear lotion on our burnt backs and cheeks and play Uno upstairs in the cool bedrooms that are still where I imagine my "happy place" to be even to this day when I'm in need of going to such a place in my head.  Imagine cool rooms with fluffy beds and plenty of paper and crayons and markers to use.

Dinner was either made at home or we'd go to the famous Pizza Factory that was/is owned by our family friend Bill. All of us and the cousins would get pizza and a salad bar. Even as little kids. SALAD BAR!  I realize now how strange that is but even my own kids and even my brother's kids still do that. As a matter of fact, in Vegas yesterday I was visiting with my sweet sister in law Mandy as she got her boys ready for school. (Side note, she was in a cute dress with an apron on. She's adorable and I love her.) She asked them what they wanted for lunch. Derek, who is 5 asked for toast with jam. Dylan asked for salad with ranch. How cute is that?  Anyway, dinner-pizza factory. Good. Oh and then we'd beg for a new tshirt from there. Most often we'd get matching shorts too. The 80's were awesome.

Anyway that was a super long rant about St. George, but that's where my memories lie. I could go on and on about St. George but I'll save it for another time. PS to my blogging cousins and siblings, I reserve the right to blog about the Ghost Hunt. It's mine. SO there.

Next you crawl up I15 up toward Cedar City. Lava rocks and green trees and red sand and cliffs?  What else can I even say?

Then miles and miles and miles of open grassy areas pouring out in the middle of hills covered with trees. Farmers water their land with those big long pipes with huge wagon wheels on them. I've always been fascinated with those watering devices. What are they called, anyone?  Anyone?  So curious!

Beaver!  Cheese factory!  Super clean X-Large bathrooms at the Texaco!  That's all I know about Beaver.

Fillmore, no reception on my phone.

Nephi!  All I can say about Nephi is that when my adorable soon-to-be husband Mike was getting baptized, we made a trip up to Utah with Tiffany. We took him to see all the sights of SLC, and Temple Square. It was the most spiritual trip of my life, and I loved every second of it. What does that have to do with Nephi? We were stopped in Nephi and saw my old van. The one I shared with my ex-husband. See, our divorce had been final for about a week and Mike and I were on our first "real" date and we stopped in Nephi to go to the restroom and there it was. I guess my ex-husband was meeting a girl for the first time there, she lived in Idaho. Anyway, it was weird to see my old car at a random gas station in the middle of nowhere. My ex married that gal about a week later. Mhmmm.

So then you come over this hill into the Utah Valley. I always get happy there, and it is called Happy Valley, so it fits. The mountains are awesome, you see Timpanogos in the background hovering over everything and the legend of that mountain (click!)  is so beautiful and sad at the same time, it just feels spiritual even looking at it.

Anyway, the drive yesterday was long and tiring, but the sights and views were astounding as always and waking up to the crisp air that reminded me that fall is peeking over the horizon just made it an even happier homecoming. Hey fall, hurry up. I have scarves I wanna wear.

Last week of August and um what the heck? Why is it almost Christmas? Sick.

Disneyland. Where do I start?  I don't.  I can't even go there. I love it so much. I want to live there but I can't.   Anyway, why is it so hot here in California this week?  Seriously?  Also, why have there been floods, mud slides, fires, torrential rain, hail, wind storms that knock out power, dangerously high surf and earthquakes all while I've been here?  Maybe God wants me to not live here. Also, Mike got a job in Park City. I love Park City.  WOOT!