Thursday, January 27, 2011

It's Not All "Cute-stuff" and "Glow"

I am 28 weeks pregnant with my #7. Yeah. And I’m thirty-something.  Call me crazy, go ahead.  Back to the story, I’m 28 weeks pregnant right now, and I’m ALSO prone to barfing. And you know what else happens when I barf?  I pee. Why, just last week I was at the Gateway watching The Fighter when I felt the urge come on. 


I calmly (in a panic) run to the bathroom. See, I know that I pee when I barf, so I prepare. I head straight for the handicapped bathroom, take off my shoes, pants, socks, and I stand there barfing in the toilet and peeing on the floor at the same time. The plus side to all of this?? ? Handicapped bathrooms ALWAYS have drains in the floor.


I clean myself up with wipees that I keep in my bag (I have a 9 month old baby, remember the crazy part?) and dress again, just to wipe my eyes and touch up my lipstick. My husband thinks it’s gross. And he’s right. Pregnancy sucks.

7 comments:

Dani said...

Okay, so I learned this from someone I know...[not to name names ;] keep ziplocs in your purse. When you have to make the "calm run", hurl into the bag while sitting on the throne. When finished, zip it and chuck it. [pun intended] :D Tah-dah! And you don't even have to strip :D Cougaiz out!

McLeod Clan said...

Your friend aboves idea is brilliant! Problem solved!

Stacey Eaton said...

Been there, done that. The worst is when you do the OTHER bathroom thing when barfing...

"The Aimonites" said...

ONCE OR MAYBE 100 TIMES THIS HAS HAPPENED TO ME. i WAS NEARING THE END OF MY PREGNANCY WITH SHAKUR AND I WAS IN THE GROCERY STORE AND AS QUICK ASS THE THOUGHT CAME TO MY MIND WAS AS QUICK AS MY BLADDER LET LOSE. MORTIFIED I RAN FOR THE FRONT DOORS LEAVING MY SONS FATHER TO DEAL WITH BUYING THE GROCERIES AND LETTING THEM KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. HIS CLEVER IDEA WAS TO TELL THEM MY WATER BROKE. CLEAN UP ON THE BACK ISLE. LOL I LAUGH NOW BUT I KNOW YOUR PAIN.. BUT I BET YOU HAD A GOOD LAUGH WRITING THIS BLOG.. I KNOW I DID

Carla said...

Alli, I have not been pregnant for 16 years now, BUT I pee when I sneeze, laugh, cough, run and yes, throw up! There is a special place in Heaven for those of us who have peed in public and stood in stall in a store or theater changing and cleaning up! We have enough coming out of our bodies, do we really need leaky pipes, too? :)

Mike Lyne said...

This post makes me so unbelievably, incredibly grateful to be a man....... thanks for the added perspective, Alli. You rock, as always. :-)

kimsueellen said...

Hilarious. I am dying of laughter, because I KNOW.